At the usual rendezvous (the closest most Thorpers get to a library) John, John, and Johnson were met by an exuberant Phil who had planned the route for the day. Cracoe…. via Wycoller? I don’t know who’s dafter, Phil or us for trusting him. Not that’s what I call a circuitous route. I only hope Phil’s wife reads this blog, ‘cos you’d need an R1 to get back comfortably by 2.30pm… like wot he’d promised her.

Anyway, out through Wyke and over Queensbury set the scene for the day. Short, sharp descents preceded by ENDLESS climbing. Johnson had a puncture outside of The Sandal Restaurant. Assisted by the other Johnson and the other Johns we managed to get the tyre back on without puncturing the inner tube… which made a change. Johnson normally needs three attempts for this particular operation.

On the hills… the endless hills…. John proved his fitness whilst John wasn’t doing too bad either. The Johnson twins did their usual combination of dithering and moaning. Johnson kept announcing “one last hill” and “it’s all downhill from here”. John, John and Johnson learned a new lesson today. Don’t ever trust Johnson’s judgement again.

There was no morning break today, Johnson was working us all hard. After Gargrave we eventually met some signs for Cracoe. Ravenous we arrived at the cafe. John & John had a ‘medium breakfast’ whilst Johnson & Johnson had EPO. Eggs, Poached On (top of beans on toast).  Johnson, meanwhile, caused a riot when it looked like he might be helping to a caramel slice (another banned substance). And whilst we’re at it can I suggest at the next committee meeting (as an amendment to club rules) that members REFRAIN from putting pepper on their eggs? It’s anti-social. In fact it’s worse than smoking and should be banned, immediately.

Johnson suggested we take it easy after such a meal. This was promptly ignored by Johnson and John, as Johnson and John yo-yo’ed a bit with the pace. Johnson, meanwhile, complaining about the road surface being uneven, discovered yet another tyre problem. This time at the back. The tyre had ‘bobelled’ and had a reet big lump on it. John selflessly volunteered to stay with Johnson, leaving Johnson and John to go back at their own pace from Keighley. Bit ironic, because Johnson and John saw Johnson at the top of Manchester Road. John and Johnson were quietly relieved that John and Johnson had gone back at their own pace.

Back by 4pm, an excellent day’s cycling. 80m approx, pace of 15 mph.