Club Run 18th July - The Wrong Trousers

The day started as every other Sunday does.  The alarm ringing on one side, the Mrs punching me on the other because, “Who in their right mind gets up at this time on a Sunday?”.

“I do dear, now got to go because Fry up will be here in a minute”.

I was late getting ready so quick thinking Phil got on the phone to Doug and Alex and arranged for us to meet on Hollins Hill on the way to Otley.  The headstart we had on the others resulted in a very leisurely paced run out to the new meeting point, smug in the knowledge the others had an additional 6-7 miles to do.

The morning had started out warm but overcast which left me uncertain over what to wear.  In the end I went with legwarmers and a pack away rain jacket. Phil on the other-hand took a riskier option but more of that later.

After a short wait at the top of Hollins Hill, Phil and I were greeted by Jack, Mad John, Phil R, Doug, Alex and Brad. Craig also did a very good impression of Mark Renshaw, unfortunately it wasnt the headbutting one of stage 10, it was the expelled one of stage 11. He was nowhere to be seen.

All grouped together we sped off the short distance to the 1st stop of the day, the cafe in Otley.  Drinks all round and a couple of raised eyebrows when Fry up’s drink didn’t arrive accompanied by the usual sausage or two.

Out of Otley we were met with the first main climb of the day over what my map reliably tells me is Jack Hill, due north of Otley town centre.  Sweeping down the descent we plummeted, with the dubious assistance of a cross tail wind down to Swinstey Reservoir.  When I say we, the Thorpers were already a man down.  The Flying Dutchman had flown and unfortunately, after cresting the top, missed the turning and ended up in Addingham never to be seen again.

At this stage in the day the weather had been a little hit and miss and it had taken it’s toll on Fry up, or more to the point, Fry up’s shorts.  Unfortunately, when Phil last visited the Tour (sometime in the early 90’s by the look of things) he had seemingly mugged Mario Cipollini of his shorts (rumours that Mario had left the scene muttering he didn’t want them anyway as they were a bit ‘loud’ are completely unfounded and should be stopped here and now). The aging lycra and the rain combined to ensure Phil was acting as an excellent warning to passing motorists. The cheek(s) of it!

After leaving the Reservoir, we headed off past Thruscross Reservoir via some cracking quiet roads and a wicked ascent, touching 16% followed by a cheeky stretch of 20% when you thought you were at the top.  Despite the challenging terrain the group remained relatively compact throughout with everyone coping very well with what was thrown at us.

Over the top of the toughest climbs of the day, Phil R decided he had worked us over enough and headed back for Mirfield leaving the remaining 6 Thorpers gasping and ready for a stop.  Heading north again we reached the fast descent down in to Pately Bridge with Brad and Doug in particular decending at a rate of knotts normally reserved for someone who has an evening pass for “Ginger Timetriallers of the 20th Century -  a slide show by S.McCall”.  Regrouped in Pately Bridge we headed out to Stean and the second stop of the day for some much needed sustinance.  What had been promised, by Alex, as a quick two mile run to the cafe turned in to a long slog past the Gouthwaite Reservoir, fortunately along quiet roads.  Revenge was had on the run up to the cafe though as Alex, jumped the bunch up the short climb to the cafe before shipping his chain in front of a rather attractive housewife pruning her bushes, resulting in raucous hooting from the rest of us.

Following a excellent cafe stop where Alex’s support team dropped him off fresh kit and gave him a pep talk, ready for the route home and Fry Up educating the waitress on the various possibilities of cooking an egg we all prepared ourselves and headed out for the run home.

Unfortunately, upon departing the cafe the rain arrived again which was causing havock with Fry Up’s shorts, fortunately he had brought his nightdress out with him and was able to cover up a touch.

We rocketed back to Pately Bridge with Doug and Brad doing some strong turns on the front dragging us all, gratefully through what was now a strong headwind.

From Pately Bridge we headed out over numerous climbs via Glasshouses and Dacre in the direction of Otley.  After the long turns on the front and the lack of recent club runs Brad took a well earned rest in the group as Doug and Alex raced each other up each climb we came across with this time, Alex having slightly the upper hand. Unfortunately for Mad John, with Fry Up powering along like a machine (in a nightdress) at a constant pace, he was left with me for company. After moaning at him for about 20 minutes about how strong the wind was he probably had any energy (or will to live) left and must have felt even worse when my moaning resulted in our pace dropping to the extent that a Ginger kid in jeans on a mountain bike passed us!

Pushing on we fortunately made up the ground, passing him just on the way over the bridge in to Otley for our third stop of the day (if anyone is passing Otley, could you please check the kid isn’t still bobbing in the river, I didn’t mean to push him that hard!).  At the stop, Fry up’s muscles were starting to tighten and he headed off in order to keep them moving.

The remaining five of us demolished milkshakes and cokes before heading back via Bradford.  Canal road in Bradford treated us with the local halfwit showing off to us with his fingers how many braincells he owned.

“That showed them dint it Trev”

“Yer it did Bozza. Your rite smart I never think to do that when I see cyclers”

The punishing route home via Manchester Road worked out any remaining energy from our legs.

Special mentions go to Mad John who ended the day with his furthest ever ride - Did you make the 100 mile mark?

Fry Up - Despite the shorts crime he was ferociously reprimanded by the rest of us and took his punishment jolly well.

Excellent ride as usual, Company was top class and hopefully we will have the same and others out next week.

What a way to spend a Sunday!

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